Sorry I have been so quiet lately…

I wrote this little piece during the early days of the covid 19 lockdown however it is one that feels a little bit relevant again when I have a daughter struggling with school based anxiety and school non attendance.

Sorry I have been so quiet lately…

This place is hectic,

Our house is far from quiet anymore.

The kitchen has finger paintings and the residue from yesterday’s lesson

Strewn across the floor.

As home schooling and welly boot walks

become our daytime norm,

We play jigsaw puzzles with midday cuddles,

Watch them sing, dance and perform.

The living room resembles an indoor playground,

As we make another den.

Then back to maths and literacy,

Before it is dinner time again.

Between zoom meetings, impending deadlines

And remembering to send homework to the school.

There are just not enough hours in these days,

Each week is overflowingly full.

The days are blurring together,

And the nights are closing in.

A darkness encircles, shrouding me,

A sudden angst burns within.

Though tiredness lingers near,

Sleep comes easily no more.

My eyes burning, heavy and fatigued,

Daily battles, my mind is forever sore.

The tears have not stopped falling long enough,

To allow me to even whisper a hello.

My throat tightens as I try to speak,

A tight constriction emerging from below.

The booming silence of nightfall,

Clenches me in a chilled embrace.

Overcome with a feeling of treading water,

Salted droplets stalk down my face.

The weight is baring down some more,

Growing darkness, I solemnly feel.

That wretched hurt and pain,

Laughter and smiles have kept concealed.

But the haze within my head is thinning,

And I greet a humbled glow.

Sorry I have been so quiet lately.

It’s been hard to let you know.